A Day-to-Day Freedom A necessary repost. Almost two years to the day and I still live by this. All love.
It’s a wonderful feeling mapping out the rest of your life. Your heart beats a little faster and the butterflies come back. We dream in optimism and in those moments we feel the world as big as it’s ever been.
I’ve always planned to some degree because I’ve always had control issues. I am honest enough to admit that. I’m not crazy by any means; I’ve just always wanted to guarantee the happiness of the people in my life. As unrealistic as that may seem, and trust me I’m well aware of my insignificance in comparison to the universe or whichever divine power you may believe in… but even with this understanding – I’ve never been one to bow out just because my back was against a wall.
In my years I’ve experienced immense frustration, uncontrollable anger, bouts with depression and every other negative emotion when it comes to being helpless in controlling the world around me. You’re probably thinking these have been ridiculous battles I’ve chosen to fight and I agree with those thoughts. As simple as understandings go: you can’t beat the universe.
I’ve touched on this in a previous write up but I now maneuver through life one day at a time. Tomorrow will come or it won’t. I’m living for instant gratification.Every ‘thank you for a great time’ or ‘you’re amazing’ or ‘I love you’… the smiles I put on the faces of my friends and family have me going to sleep knowing I did my part to leave the world a little better than I found it. As opportunities come I immediately think ‘how can I help or connect someone I care about’… it’s almost a reflex. I make today about today. If ‘whatever’ helps tomorrow, that’s great… I just know that tomorrow isn’t promised, so why attempt to bank on it?
No expectations, just a never-ending journey of first days in search of and embracing new forms of happiness. That’s the life.
That is freedom. #SomeDailyJoe
|| PREVIOUSLY ||
3 Things I've Learned In My 20s So Far
Our twenties , for most of us , is when we finally experience life truly on our own . We still have our support systems and our families are still there waiting to send care packages or money as soon as they sense we're even REMOTELY in need . . . but it's in these years that we open our eyes to our world and not the world shaped by our parents , our teachers , or old lady June down the street who use to watch you when you were 4 . Most of us stepped out of our comfort zones and stumbled into reality - HARD . I feel like I realize new things almost daily but these are 3 of the things I've learned in my 20s so far , maybe you can relate .
1. Things never go as you plan .
I had crazy and in hind sight - very unrealistic goals growing up . I applied to Harvard , which isn't the unrealistic part because I'm actually REALLY smart . I got pretty far in the acceptance process but decided to stay close to home due to my mom's first diagnosis with Breast cancer and ended up with a full ride academic scholarship to The Ohio State University . #GoBucks . I graduated and decided the move was Los Angeles . The plan : move to LA , sign a recording contract and be on tour within a year .
Poor 22year old Joe . Quite the ambitious one . Long story short , it didn't happen and still hasn't happened but you know what , I'm not worried - and I'm very happy about it . I'd be a very different person had that happened . I wouldn't be writing this . I wouldn't have met some of the greatest people I know . I wouldn't have had half the experiences I've been very fortunate to have . Honestly , I don't think I would be as happy as I am now . I suppose what I'm getting at is , I don't believe in failure ; there are only opportunities to learn . We all wish for 10 million dollars but the reality of it all is most of us wouldn't know what to do with 10 million dollars . We aren't READY for 10 million dollars . We have these goals but we may not be ready for them in the timeframe we give ourselves to achieve them .
2. That wasn't love. New city . New shiny things . New REALLY hot people . I moved to LA from Columbus , Ohio where I worked at the Abercrombie & Fitch corporate office . Back then , I was surrounded by some of the most beautiful people . Models flown in for castings . Fashion shows . Fit modeling . Literally tripping over some of the people we #Goal on IG . I had my flings but they were whatever . Fast forward to LA . Thrust into a city filled with the faces and bodies of those deemed too elite for their small towns . I transferred to the A&F Flagship store because , why not ? I fell in love twice a day for the first year and a half out here . Los Angeles was over flowing with an energy I hadn't felt and an overwhelming concentration of beautiful people -both guys and girls . Some , a few shown below , have grown to be some of the best people I have ever met . Welcomed me with open arms and proved time and time again that they are just as perfect on the inside as they are on the outside . On the other hand , there were MANY , not shown , that gave me attention simply because I was the 'cute' new guy . A LOT of heartache . I didn't know who I was yet so I wasn't able to love myself , didn't know what love was so I couldn't expect others to love me back . I mistakenly equated attention for love and it messed me up for a bit . Caused me to get reckless - I mean people busting in on me making out with someone in the shadows in the club . 3am booty calls . Borderline body dysmorphia because I felt like I had to look like some ridiculously specific creation to keep the attention of these people because again - I equated attention to love . It wasn't love . I want to write more about this one but I'm gunna hold off so you guys will come back . ;)
3. It's ok to experience .
I'd never tell anybody to do anything they would feel forced to do . I'd never tell anybody to do anything that makes them feel in danger . But I will tell all who are willing to listen that it's never ok to get complacent or to -stay- comfortable . The world is far too big . Cultures and people are waiting to be embraced .
Once I legit realized I was LIVING MY OWN LIFE , I had my personal 'the world isn't flat' moment and it was everything one would think it'd be . No fear of judgements . No fear of disappointing anyone . I was on a path to meeting someone I always wanted to meet - myself . I kissed some girls and grabbed some ass . I kissed some boys and grabbed some ass . (I've always been an ass man . Haha) . I found out what I'd look like as a girl , and people grabbed my ass . I went wild at my first music festival (Coachella) staying up for 38hrs . I cut A LOT of people out of my life which was much needed because for the longest time I felt I needed said people 'just in case' - whatever that means . I got tattoos . Lol . I did whatever . I made decisions for ME .
The reason for this post is to show you that I still haven't figured everything out and that's ok . I don't beat myself up . I don't cry myself to sleep . I don't even allow myself to think that I've let anybody down . We don't know the ultimate meaning of life but I assure you it's not to get some 9-5 job or to impress people or to live up to standards placed upon you growing up . Life to me , is about the journey and writing your story as it comes along .
So get out there , kiss somebody and grab some ass . Haha . So when you look back on it , when you're going through whatever that impending and devastatingly life altering scenario may be , at least it'll put a smile on your face and get you through to your next sunrise . #SomeDailyJoe